“The vale of Baca or the balsam-trees was some vale which…took its name from the trees which grew there. Balsam-trees are said to love dry situations, growing plentifully for example in the arid valley of Mecca; and this is clearly the point of the reference. The vale of Baca was some waterless and barren valley through which pilgrims passed on their way to Jerusalem; but faith turns it into a place of springs, finding refreshment under the most untoward circumstances, while God refreshes them with showers of blessing from above, as the autumnal rains clothe the dry plains with grass and flowers.”
I am a 33-year-old wife, sister, daughter, friend, teacher and Child of God. This blog is a testimony to my “waterless and barren valley” of Baca, my fifteen plus years with depression and anxiety. A life in and out of the pit, swallowed by addictions and saved again and again by redemptive Grace. There is no reason for me to be physically alive today. What I do know is, my soul could never let go of the One who created me. I don’t want this to be another cliche blog about suffering and how to “get through.” Nor do I want it to be a cliche blog about “Jesus saving my life.” But to be honest, cliche or not, no matter how many times I have denied it, it is the truth: I would be dead if it weren’t for Jesus Christ. On the other hand, this is not a blog about my wonderful life as a Christian. No it is about my sucky and beautiful life, the darkest and most joyous days of my soul as a Christ-follower. I never thought I would share what I have written but I am ready to, because that is what He asks of me. Here I hope you will not simply find someone who can share in your misery. Instead, I hope my words will open your eyes to reality and to hope.
I was inspired by this wonderful woman’s site to tell my story in order, to be read as a book. So please start here, and click the link on the bottom to read forward. I will tell you my story from my heart, the only way I know how. A story of a life that continues today as all of our lives do. Through my words, my prayer is that you are able to see my transformation-over the course of many, many years-from the valley of miry clay to the mountain of hope. I hope you can see yourself going through this transformation because He can take you there. I will not say “just believe” or “just hang on” but I will say the “autumn rains” and “strength” will come. I am living proof.